Maybe, This Time
by Messrs. Padfoot N' Prongs
Summary: Lily Evans was inevitably part of my future. Too bad I didn’t want her to be. JamesLily


No matter what you do, you can't escape the inevitable.

I mean you try, really _try_, to go down another path, one that hopefully leads to somewhere else and yet every single path you've found leads back to the first. And right when you think you've won, it hits you when you least expect it.

The inevitable.

It just _sounds_ ominous--like a plague or some kind of parasite that sucks the life out of you.

But it can't be that bad… right?

---------------------

Lily looked particularly haughty, with her unnervingly perfect hair billowing about her shoulders in a smooth sheet of red. There was no sign of emotion on her face, other than the curve of her brow and the proud jut of her chin. She wasn't fond of my company--and she liked to make that fact known, especially during class.

My weakness has always been my temperament, after all.

A thump sounded and I swiveled my head back toward Lily, only to be met with the sight of her leather bag on my desk. For a moment, I just stared at the bag in wonder.

Did she really just set her bag on _my_ desk?

With the arrogance only a certain Lily Evans possessed, she pushed the bag forward so that it tumbled off the desk and into my lap.

It took all my self-control not to throw it back at her smug little face.

"Pick it up Potter," Lily drawled, "Before I tell McGonagall you didn't do anything on this project." Her smile was predatory.

I wanted to say no; I wanted to lunge at her and tackle her to the ground, anything to sully the flawless air that circled about her. But I couldn't.

Lily was my partner in Transfiguration and as much as I hated to admit it, I needed her to cooperate with me if I wanted to become an Auror.

The sound of impatient foot tapping echoed in the classroom. "I am waiting _James_," Lily enunciated her words slowly, "Or has your ego taken up residence where your brain should be? Maybe I should speak in caveman." She leaned over the desk and jabbed her finger at me, "James," then at herself, "Lily," and finally at the bag, "Pick it up, you toerag. It's not nice to keep a lady waiting."

"You're a woman?" I gasped in mock-horror. "I always thought you were a monster, kind of like the ones Sirius keeps in his closet. You'll have to forgive me, your hairy lip is what confused me."

Lily didn't appreciate my response. The curl of her lip and the flashing of her eyes were the only warnings I had before her fist met my cheek.

"Christ!" I yelled, gripping my cheek.

"The only monster here is you, Potter!" She spat, holding her fist protectively to her chest. "And now you've gone and broke my fist!"

"I didn't do anything," I growled in return, "And my cheek doesn't feel too wonderful either."

"If you would have just picked up my bag--"

"If you hadn't pushed it over on purpose--"

"If you would just listen to me--"

"If you would stop screaming at me--"

"Stop!" Lily screamed, "Stop it, stop it! I can't take it anymore!"

My heavy breathing, punctuated by Lily's quiet sobs, was the only noise in the room. I clenched my fists unconsciously, steeling my eyes away from her sobbing form. She had no reason to cry--no right to cry--when I was the one in pain.

"Evans, I haven't done anything--"

She choked pitifully on her own snot and saliva, "That's just it!"

My eyebrows shot up on their own accord.

"Y-you haven't done anything at all," Lily almost sounded weak at that point, "Nothing at all this whole year and--"

"--And what?" I countered. "And now you miss me? And now you care?"

Her sobbing continued, harder and louder.

"But James--!"

"Lily," I cut in again, "If you're going to tell me that you love me and that you were stupid for taking my affection for granted, I don't want to hear it."

Silently, I began to shove her belongings back into her bag. I could feel her eyes on me the whole time; occasionally she'd sniffle and mumble something that caught my attention, but I refused to look her in the eye.

"Here," I said, handing her the bag, "Your bag."

With that said, I turned towards the door. There was nothing left for me to say. I couldn't stand to hear her cry any longer.

"James, why?!" Lily called after me. "Why did you stop?!"

I didn't have enough strength to turn around again. I knew that the longer I stayed, the more my resolve would crumble.

Lily Evans was inevitably part of my future.

Too bad I didn't want her to be.


End file.
